Halloween

Halloween has come and gone. Thanks to my new attitude, appreciating the effort and creativity that people put into their costumes and decorations, I enjoyed the door duty tonight. My husband is great at identifying costume characters. My daughter unexpectedly went out with a friend and came home with a haul of candy. Sadly, she got NO "Good 'N Plenty", but she did share a "3 Musketeers." When we were in the store this afternoon, a clerk urged us to buy lots of candy so they would not have to pack it up tonight. I imagine, if I returned tomorrow, it will all be replaced by Christmas stuff, or maybe some Thanksgiving items.
But first, this week, there is the little matter of the election. Given that they are short 500,000 pollworkers nationwide, and the average age is 72, there are bound to be very short tempers among the voters waiting in lines on Tuesday, as these workers slowly (very slowly!) going through the rosters of voters. My precinct, where I am also assigned to work, is predominantly staffed by these senior workers, and they work at a slow and steady pace. Any pressure just flusters them and makes it even slower. It will be an interesting day, no doubt!

Cash Machine

Sometimes I feel like an endless cash machine for my daughter. We don't begrudge buying her what she needs, and often what she wants, and ask very little in return. There are a few chores she is supposed to do, but never does without prodding. There are times she is loving, courteous and thoughtful, and other times she is the most self centered person on the planet. I will periodically, like I did today, let her get something. Then, we come home to have her do nothing and complain about needing time to chill, rather than just get the few chores done as asked. I guess this is the dilemna of parenting. And tomorrow, it will start all over again. I am sure there is a good solution to this -- allowance, saying no, etc.

Lunar Eclipse

Clouds covered most of the lunar eclipse tonight. We saw a bright, full moon, going in and out of clouds just as it started. Then, sitting in the backyard with my daughter, we saw a fully covered moon with a red tint , for just a short time as the clouds shifted by. It was a really wonderful hour, sitting, holding hands under a blanket, talking, looking to spot the beautiful moon. I guess only those souls in heaven, or above the clouds at least, got a full viewing. I know that Rabbi Silberman was one of those watching it from his perch high above, also hoping for a glimpse of his beloved widow as she too watched it from their yard. I hope that, as the clouds pass quickly through the sky and days go into weeks, her sadness is lessened. Though my cactus still has unopened buds, two of the neighbor's cactus were laden with flowers tonight, opening, obviously, in honor of the eclipse.

The Stars

Tonight, we saw a play, "The Immigrant." One song, repeated throughout, had a chorus that said "the stars are brighter so we won't forget." I think that has a great deal of symbolism, but am writing it down now so that it will not roll loudly through my head all night. The stars tonight are particularly numerous and very bright. Perhaps the sky is preparing for the full eclipse that is coming on Wednesday evening. I am wishing for a bright, clear sky that night so we may observe it. Now, back to the stars, I am wondering what is it that I should not forget?

Humble and Appreciative

A family we know at our synagogue today told us that the husband found out this week that his job was being eliminated. One of our daughter's friends is in a similar situation, considering selling their house to move in with in-laws as the savings dwindle. My heart aches for these families, as we have been in that situation. You want to hope that things will be ok, anxiety and depression are huge and fear is prevailing. We are wishing the very best for these families and other who have lost their jobs, health insurance, etc. I sure hope they get out and vote, exercising their right to change for the better. We are very appreciative for what we have, trying to be thankful each and every day.

Three Weeks

It is three weeks today that Rabbi Herbert Silberman passed away. His passing has created sadness that cannot be described, for his amazing, courageous wife, of course, but also to members of the congregation, and to my husband and myself. He had such a gentle way of teaching, being and living that makes his absence so much more noticeable. The Bat Mitzvah today reflected his teaching, as he did the teaching of the Torah portion. But her speech mentioned seeing stars in the distance and only getting to know them up close when you take the time. That was what Rabbi Silberman did, in seeing the star inside each person and making it brighter. For now, he is with the stars, forever in their brightness.
This afternoon, we will relax, enjoy the sun and butterflies passing through the yard, marvel at the first crop of grapefruit on the tree, and be thankful that G-d created people like Rabbi Silberman to share their wisdom with us, even if it is just for awhile.

Birthday Horoscopes

One fun thing about your birthday is the horoscope for the year ahead. The one online was different than the one in the newspaper. The one online was hauntingly accurate:
"Libra's Birthday Reading:
As you're cleaning house, you may discover a few painful memories. This tends to happen when you're on a quest for wisdom and satisfaction. They're just on the other side of acknowledgement, which is not the same as acceptance or condoning, by the way. Celebrity birthdays on October 19th: Evander Holyfield, John Lithgow, Robert Reed, Divine" (They forgot to mention Ty Pennington.)
The truth is that I have been avoiding cleaning out the garage as finding memories from my past is difficult and I would prefer not to revisit them. They are not that bad or anything, but painful in the way that you wince when you remember them, so it is easier to not have to face them.
The newspaper horoscope was so awesome: "You are personality plus this year, though you may not be able to make a dent when dealing with a stubborn domestic situation and/or real estate investment. Decide to focus on areas where you can make a difference. You are unusually lucky and beginning a new 11-year life and luck cycle....If you are attached, you might want to move or make a change in your family structure."
Gosh, that is promising -- 11 years of luck, making a difference! I am excited about the year ahead.

My 53rd Birthday is Tomorrow

I am turning 53 tomorrow -- somedays I feel that age, but most of the time, in my mind, I picture myself much younger. That is probably a result of being stuck in music from 30 plus years ago. Birthday celebrations have always been a bit weird. As a child I was combined with a younger cousin and my brother who celebrated an altered birthday to get into kindergarten one year early. It was never on THE day and I never got my own cake, so I don't really expect that -- and I am not a cake person. Give me some crunchy cookies and I am happy.
But, as for the birthday, I like getting cards, wishes from my unusual circle of friends, some gifts from my family, and I like opening all the things I bought for myself. I met my husband 22 years ago around my birthday time and we like celebrating our birthdays together. For mine, we are attending the Evening Service; for his a Fall League baseball game. Some years I get phone calls from family with good wishes; I expect those to be few and far between this year. I am happy to be here to celebrate with my husband and daughter -- it really just comes down to that simple fact.

Common Sense and Courtesy

Parenting is the hardest job I ever had, and I can't even take a day off. How does one balance the need to establish rules and guidelines, with wanting your child to have fun and be with friends? I think the need to walk the line is so difficult; you want to do the right thing, but then you end up driving all over the countryside and being disappointed when your child does not act as you would wish. She is a good, sweet girl, but she seems to have no sense of how her actions impact others, and in this case, her parents. Common sense and courtesy would go a long way, particularly when she has her own cell phone. I don't know the answer and hate being taken advantage of when I try to be flexible and understanding. Everyone just goes to bed feeling badly....and some people still wake up angry. I try not to do that, but ...

Is It A Quandary or A Conundrum?

Not sure if I have a quandary, or a conundrum -- but I feel unsettled and don't know what to focus on. I guess, after watching "Farenheit 9/11" focusing on defeating Bush, Cheney and his band of crooks, liars and thieves is top priority. There are so many other things rolling around in my mind --- not even sure where to start listing them. More coffee is a good start.

Talking About Money

My parents never talked about money in front of us as kids, and I have always felt it was rude to discuss money with anyone except immediate family. I hate that my daughter's conversation with others often focuses on money and stuff. I have previously told her it was rude and asked her not to do it in my presence as it makes her appear to be a shallow, selfish person. I have done something wrong in that she keeps talking about it, and it is often in front of people that make me uncomfortable. For someone whose father has lost their job and health insurance, or a less privileged family, it is totally insensitive. My immediate solution is to tell her that the next time she does it in the car, I am pulling over and making her get out. Turning the radio up really loud did not work. I am at my wits end, and this has to change somehow.

I Want To Get Back Under The Covers

I just wanted to get back under the covers today when:
- I heard that the Sheriff was refusing to drive pregnant prisoners to the abortion clinic. They got pregnant while abusing drugs or in prostitution and he is refusing to provide them their legal rights of choice. Instead, foster homes are picking up drug addicted, parentless kids at the County Hospital. They are wards of the state until age 18, often needed special services from affects of drug abuse in the womb. The State Department of Corrections will take them to the abortion clinics, but makes the prisoner and their family pay for the services. They are often very poor. What a world....
- Male fish in the Potomac River are being found with eggs. 75% of the male fish had eggs,which authorities think is due to pollution. Makes me think of the three-eyed fish in "The Simpsons".
- The community garage sale I offered to organize got all screwed up, as the community newsletter did not get out on time. So, I don't know who is participating (if anyone). It goes back to the old saying, "no good deed should go unpunished."
Well, it is almost Shabbat and time to relax. I need it.

Voting

At the conclusion of the post-debate "Hardball" show, Chris Matthews went into the crowd at ASU (where I was supposed to be, but that's another story) and told people that they just have to get out and vote. He added that he has the best job in the world right now, and he is sorry to see the debates ending. I just don't get why people don't vote, even if it is just for one race.
At my election day training class today, we learned that some people vote a blank ballot in protest of not liking any a candidates. So, the machine will spit out the blank ballot as an undervoted ballot, and the election official has to make sure that they meant to leave it blank before sending it through the machine again. If the person is going to make so much effort to go and vote, at least you would figure they would put in a write-in candidate.
So vote, by mail, in person, whatever, just do it...it is the only way to express your opinion and make change, unless, of course, the Republicans in your area can figure out a way to make a non-Republican vote not count.

We've Only Just Begun.....

to see the bs antics that the Republicans will play to make sure voters cannot exercise their right. The example below is one of the many we can expect to read about (maybe not if the media is biased):
"Nev. Move to Purge Some Dem Voters Fails" -- the Republican premise was to disqualify these Democratic voters as they are inactive. Perhaps this shenanigan will spur them into action.

Choices

Sometimes choices are very difficult, particularly when you must balance what you want to do vs. what you know you should do. If I follow the lead of the late Rabbi Silberman, the choices are easy. Family and G-d come first, with an open heart to the community. It will be his legacy that will help me, and all the others that attended his Memorial Service last night, make the right choices in life, as we honor his memory. Thank you, Rabbi. May you rest in eternal peace.

"No bs, please!"

Those were Chris Matthew's words as he selected various supporters from the crowd today at ASU. He was doing a sound check for his 4 p.m. live taping of "Hardball" the day before the third debate. Under a CNN tent, Judy Woodruff was taping "Inside Politics", trying to talk over a loud crowd of both kinds of supporters. As she interviewed Governor Napolitano, the crowd chanted "Kerry, Kerry" over and over. It was a scene from a college campus in the 1960's: peace protesters, Women In Black against violence, a guy singing anti-war songs in fatigues, interest groups of all types on both sides. White crosses on the lawn for all the deaths in Iraq, a teddy bear marking each that left a child. There was a pile of marbles, one for each Iraqi killed in the war, with a toy for each child killed. There was a table with books of memorials for each soldier, with a biography and photo, and plans for a candlelight vigil in their memory tonight. (www.annistonstar.com , Facts of the Fallen was the source of their biographies.) It was a totally energizing event, mixed with the reality of the importance of the election and the remaining three weeks prior to November 2.
I did get to shake hands with Chris Matthews, telling him that we think he is awesome and always hits it right on. I waved signs and cheered as the cameras panned the crowd. The parking was miles away, and the media shuttles were everywhere. As it got hotter, the crowd got more intense. You really had to want it to be there and fight the crowds and parking limitations. The huge Bush signs shoved the big Kerry signs, probably a microcosm of the whole campaign. People were challenging those with other signs, asking "how can you vote for him?" I ended up with a "Vote for the Environment, Vote Kerry Edwards" green sign. As I walked through the crowd holding it overhead, a guy with a "Viva Bush" sign looked at me and said, "Who cares about the environment? Well, I guess he doesn't.